And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.

Ah, for the vampires. All hail the sex-starved gothic wannabes who create a thousand emaciated little leechlings. This is an example of one of the main problems that comes from roleplaying in this world - the 'playing a coldblooded human with nice special effects and a little dietary problem' problem.

A vampire must live every night with the knowledge that he is, by the standards of his breathing days, a monster. A vampire must come to terms with that in his own way and in his own time. It is important to remember that many vampires die of suicide, more than any other cause. Most do not have that stubborn will to survive that will carry them on into an indefinite unlife.

In order to become powerful, a vampire must make the conscious decision to barter away still more of his humanity - for no Discipline comes without an understanding, deep in the blood, of its supernatural nature, and no Discipline can be taught to a mortal who is not at least part of that extended undead family through ghouldom. It is almost a Faustian bargain, frittering away bits of humanity in order to become that which can survive becoming inhuman.

This is something that truly ought to drive more vampires a little crazy - does one wish to learn this discipline to survive, and thus exchange something of what one once was? Or does one want to give up on humanity entirely, and simply pursue the abilities to become the most glorious beast possible? Does one hide away in torpor and dream of a better time? Does one seek suicide by either self-destruction or the perpetual turmoil of an active vampiric life? Does one run and hide in the dark places and only come out to feed?

The slow degeneration of humanity is the root of Vampire. However, somewhere each vampire must find and hold that image of what it is to be a vampire, an ideal to strive for, or that vampire will perish. Achieving that goal may be impossible, or as extremely unlikely as the paths to Golconda, but each vampire must know what it is he is seeking, or he will soon sink into torporous depression at the prospect of an unending, unchanging life. Too many vampires go about their unlives indifferent to where they go, with no greater goal than the next drink, a good time, and staying out of the sun.

If you have infinity to contemplate, you had better have something to do with it.

Now for werewolves. Subject to the 'furry people with short tempers and neat special effects' brand of problems.

Garou are not human. This is one of the things that seems to get lost in translation somewhere. There is a human intellect, a set of human emotions, and the like - but the soul is not human, the instincts are not human. The instincts are also not those of a wolf. They are a strange and nearly schizophrenic hybrid.

A Garou knows in his bones - from the Curse, if nothing else - that he is a breed apart. Human-born know that their families who are not Kin will shy away from them, people in the street avoid them, almost as if they could sense the monster within the man. Wolves scatter from the lupus, or cower unde his dominion. And the metis - the metis are born with the exquisitely painful knowledge that they are, in truth, monsters among the mere mortals, and this is something untempered with the ordinary experiences of human or wolf-born.

Within the universe, many Garou do live in denial of this instinctual understanding, not coming to terms with the strange synthesis of man and beast that a werecreature is. They try to graft the one onto the other without making it into a whole that can be effective, and so the mind winds up at war with the body more often than not, and the Garou falls prey to frenzy or Harano.

What is the deepest unrecognized tendency of Garou as they are played is to overemphasize their human nature, their devisiveness, their tendency to play tac-nuke of Gaia first and ask questions later.

A Garou is designed to destroy that which harms the All-Mother. But those Gifts of Gaia which are used to determine that which harms her, and to strengthen her warriors, are treated more often as handy tools rather than spiritual investments whose purpose is to enhance the lupine crusader's power. The Garou's gift repertoire is not a toolkit of magical special effects, but rather a collection of understandings of a pure spiritual nature which have come together to make more possible for the werewolf. The spirit world is everywhere, and the Garou are aware of it, bound to it, and in many ways a fundamental part of it.

In addition to the neglected spirit, there is the neglected Rage. Certainly, many Garou appear in a game as self-propelled Cuisinarts, semi-sapient killing machines with the occasional tendency to go gaga. But there is more to rage than the power behind a little magic and the ability to rip things up with preternatural speed - rage is that dividing line betwen the mortal and the supernatural, more even than the spiritual power of Gnosis. Rage is the primal pain of the All-Mother made real, and felt like a flame in the hearts of the Garou. Rage drives the Garou forward to destroy that which hurts Gaia, because only that can still the pain inherent in the nature of the rage. Rage is that thing which sets the werewolf apart from those around him, more than anything else, for it is that deep connection to Gaia, beyond the heart-connection that is Gnosis, the primal, raging gut-deep pain that drives them to supernatural heights. It is this pain and the power it spawns that makes humans shy away, makes wolves shy away - the understanding that this creature is not one of them, it knows secrets that they do not and cannot ever possess, it is driven by agony and duty to be something entirely else.

To associate with a Garou and not be one of them is a difficult proposition. The one who is not Garou must always trust that his partner is in control, that the beast will not surface. Even in hose Garou who are not prone to frenzy, there is that force of temper of supernatural power, and the rage over the primal pain of Gaia is something beyond mortal comprehension.

Thus the true home and family of a werewolf is the pack. Here is a collection of those who can think in the same pattern, who understand the links of the spirit world and the primal pain of the Mother. A true pack is one that operates without the need for instruction by the alpha, for the packmates are truly one mind in many bodies, competent to scatter their skills and knowing that the packmate best suited to each task will be there. An Alpha who must regularly give orders is a weak Alpha, because a true Pack is bound by the understanding of a purpose and follows that Alpha through agreement with the purpose and the Alpha's goal. Frequent Challenges within a pack indicate a weakness (or change) of purpose more than a weakness of Alpha.

The Garou are in a war, and yet too many forget this. The war is something they must fight within and without, and something which seems hopeless - but they cannot stop fighting, for that would be the ultimate in betrayals. Their purpose is to find meaning in what looks meaningless, and to keep going.

Humans with special effects! That's what it comes down to. Or at least, that's what it seems like.

Mage has been described as a game in which the purpose of the player is to convince the storyteller to let him break the rules.

There are a few inherent problems with this system. Primary among them is the tendency of the game to degenerate into a festival of coming up with the newest and strangest tricks to neutralize the opposition.

Mage is not a game about opposition.

Mage is a story of personal quest.

Yes, all the various groups have an ideal of the Ascansion, as well as who should be brought to it and how. Yes, many of these groups seek to impose this vision over the others. Yes, much of the activity of each individual magus comes down to foiling others who seek to eercise a bit more control over their realities.

However.

A mage is first and foremost seeking his own enlightenment, his own true understanding. Perhaps in the course of that vision, he believes that he should enlighten others, show them the paths to truth. However, once it comes down to the individual arete, it is between a mage and his avatar (and a mage's avatar is truly himself).

Losing track of this reduces Mage from that same epic to Spielberg's special effects department.

Today's question:

Is the dream of a rail-thin satyr with huge breasts one dream or many? It seems all the same to me. But why are there so goddamn many satyrs who fit exactly that description out looking for a lay?

Now on to your regularly scheduled ramble.

Changeling is a game about dreams. Living, unique dreams. Dreams in a world that seems to have lost its dreams, trying to maintain or even restore those things which have been lost.

Positing the Seelie and the Unseelie as good and evil is something which seems a bit alien to my comprehension. I see them as more Apollonian and Dionysian - the rational versus the irrational, the controlled versus the free. Yes, ultimate anarchy will have darker overtones than absolute control. The best pattern is a mixture of the twain - something with the Kithain should, truly, understand in instinct, for each of them is of both the Seelie and the Unseelie, though they each may favor one or the other.

Apollo was a bright god, but occasionally a cruel one. And there is much of that in the fae, looking at a history of Seelie nobles playing politics, with their subjects as pawns - clinical and dispassionate, controlled, full of courtly nuance but very little feeling.

Dionysius was a dark god, but one full of feeling and life. He is there in revel and in destruction, and is intimately a part of both.

Dreams come rooted in Dinysius, and given form by Apollo. The Fae are of both the dark and the light, and are not a part of the paradigm of 'good' and 'evil'. Good and evil are things of the mortal world, and the fae are not. Fae are creatures of abstracted meaning, and good and evil are, truly, meaningless, for they change depending on the viewpoint of the speaker.

This concludes your rant for this evening.